When Amy Is Evil, or, Sally Must Die
by ERiN OPPEL
Summary: COMPLETE! Titles are self-explanitory. Amy becomes evil and wants to kill Sally so that Sonic will love her. But to accomplish this, she asks Scourge and his gang to help her out. Rated T for Scourge's twisted mind. But nothing gory in this fic
1. Amy Gets A Dark Mind

_Let me tell you this straight out: I hate Sally. Hate 'er. I hate Chris too, even more, but thank the magic pumpkins he's not in this fic. I couldn't decide between two story titles, so I decided that this FanFic shall have two titles. Remember guys, I was bored when I decided to write this fic, so don't be surprised if it seems very weird, which it will. _

"When Amy Is Evil" or "Sally Must Die"

A FanFic by ERiN OPPEL

Chapter 1: Amy Gets A Dark Mind

It was one particularily sunny afternoon when Amy began to eat her strawberry Pop Tart and thought about why Sonic wasn't in love with her.

"Hmm..." Amy thought aloud as she took a bite of her breakfast. "I love Sonic, but he doesn't love me." Way to point out the obvious, Amy. "But why doesn't he love me? I'm always there for him, and I do my best to make him happy. It's as if there's something standing in the way between me and Sonic." Then she realized it. "Not something, some_one_!" She narrowed her eyes and whispered menacingly. "Sally."

She shoved the rest of her tart in her mouth and chugged down her milk. With her mouth full, she said to herself, "Te ony ay to get So-ic to luf me ish to get rid of Sawy!" Then Amy got a dark mind... She swallowed her food and grinned evilly. "Yes...Yes! YES!! AHAHAHAHAHA!" And she continued to laugh like some maniac from one of those old horror movies your parents make you watch because they tell you it's 'hip'.

Ahem, moving on. Amy decided she was going to kill Sally, but she didn't have any ideas on how to do it. "Hmm, I might need a bit of help on this. But who could I ask?" she pondered. Then the light above her head at the table turned on and she said, "I know! I know the perfect person to help me!" Then she glared up at the light and turned it off. "Darn switch. I better get that fixed later."

Amy went to the phone and dialed a number. Now, I'm not sure why Amy has Scourge the Hedgehog's number in her adress book, but I'm sure it's for a good reason.

Meanwhile in Scourge's lair...

The green hedgehog was reading his latest issue of Playboy magazine, when the phone rang. He groaned and answered it. "I don't want any of what you're selling, unless it it's pizza!"

"It's me, Amy!" Amy told Scourge.

"Amy? Amy who?" Scourge asked.

"Amy Rose the hedgehog that's gonna kick your butt if you don't help me right now!" Amy yelled.

"Hmm, that seems pretty long. How about I just call you Amy?" Scourge answered.

Amy groaned on the phone. "Just shut up and listen. I gotta kill Sally Acorn and YOU gotta help me!"

Scourge scratched his chiny-chin-chin and thought for a second. "Hmm...murder? I like the sound of that. Ok, I'll help you."

"Great!"

"Er, however..."

"Uh, what's the catch?"

"I can't just work for you for free!"

"Ok, how much?"

"Gimme 1 ring."

"Oh, Ok!"

"Per second."

"What?!"

"If you can't afford that much, then there is another way to pay me."

"Ok, what is it?"

"Steal all the bottles of liqour from the corner store!"

"Which corner store?"

"Any corner store!"

"The grand corner store? The one down the street?"

"Sure!"

"Is that your final offer?"

"Yes."

"Ok, fine!" Amy finished.

"Excellent! Once you get the liquor, come meet me and the others at my place tonight! And you BETTER bring the liqour!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Amy replied and then hung up. To make a long story short, she got all the stuff and headed to Scourge's hideout. She knocked on the door, then an small slit in the door slid open and eyes peeked out.

"Ya got the password?" whoever it was asked.

"Uh, no?"

"Oh, good, 'cause we don't even have one. Come on in!" the person greeted. He opened the door and revealed himself to be Miles, the evil twin of Tails.

"Well, well, well. Just in time!" Scourge told Amy. "Ya got the liqour?" He took a look at the box and growled, "I wanted liqour, not (choose one:) a: Crown Royal! b: Bud Light! c: Moonshine! d: Scotch! e: Scotch tape!"

Amy retorted, "(if you chose) a: But Crown Royal is a brand of liquor! b: How was I supposed to know the difference? c: Who cares? It's an alcoholic drink! d: It's the same thing! e: Well, you wanted scotch, which is the same as liquor, but all I could find was tape!"

"(if you chose) a: Really? Huh, Ok. b: Oh well. It'll at least make me drunk. c: Hmm, I'll try it and see if it tastes good. d: I never knew that. e: If I can't drink it, then how is this considered pay?!" Scourge answered. "But never mind about that now." He turned to his gang, who were sitting on couches, minding their own business. "Yeah, lemme do a quick intro. Fiona Fox you know, that's Boomer, Miles is over there, and Patch is the one playing chess with himself."

"Checkmate!" Patch said triumphantly just then.

Scourge ignored him and turned back to Amy. "Time to show you my plans!" He turned around and shouted, "Boomer! Give me... the plans." he said the last part evilly.

Boomer, the evil twin of Rotor, came in and got the plans, as well as a scale model of each of his plans.

Scourge grabbed the first model and set in down in front of him and Amy. He began reading the blueprint, "Plan A: The Last Supper."

"Uh..." Amy shifted her eyes uncertainly.

"We invite Sally over for dinner, but we don't tell her that inside every portion of food is a bomb that will explode as soon as I push the button on this remote." He held up and remote control with a single, red button on it. "And as soon as I do, Sally will be blown to bits! Hahaha!" He pushed the button and the miniature Sally model exploded. "And then Cerberus will eat the evidence." He said, picking up a toy cow and making it look like it was eating the remains of the explosion.

"That doesn't look like Cerberus! And it's a female!" Amy pointed out.

"Quiet! I didn't have a Cerberus action figure!" Scourge retorted.

"And another thing, isn't Cerberus from the NiGHTS series?"

"They loaned him to us." Scourge explained. "The drawback for Plan A: Sally is suspicious of the meal, or isn't hungry." He got his blueprints and model for the next plan. "If that's the case, which most likely won't be, then it's on to Plan B: A Shot In The Dark."

Amy raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Scourge started, "We tell Sally she's invited to a formal dance, see? We'll tell her it takes place in the old abandonned warehouse, so we wait for her there, hiding in the shadows. Then, when she's in position, someone turns out the lights and I fire my pistol." He turned the lights off on his model and made his own figure pull the trigger on his tiny gun. The Sally figure fell over. "And then Cerberus eats up her remains. Drawback for this plan: shooting someone else by accident." His figure shot the gun again, but this time at a model of Boomer.

"Hey!" Boomer protested, "Why'd you shoot me?"

"It's just an example!" Scourge told him.

"Why don't you shoot Miles?" Boomer complained.

"Hey, don't shoot me, shoot Patch!" Miles countered.

"Hey! Zat is not fair!" Patch frowned. "Shoot Fiona!"

"Hey!" Fiona glared at Patch. "You're asking for it!"

Scourge tried to calm his gang down. "Hey, it doesn't matter who I shoot, as long as it's Sally! Ok, if that doesn't work, then Plan C: Killer Klowns From Outer Space."

"Isn't that name already taken--?"

"SHH! Don't let anyone know that!" Scourge hissed. He cleared his throat and started, "We build this communication device that can only be heard by aliens in space. We tell them that the only way to conquer our planet is to kill Sally. Once they get our message and come to Mobius, they find Sally and kill her! And then Cerberus devours Sally's body and the aliens." He looked at Amy expectantly. "Well? What do you think? Is that a cool plan or what?"

"...Aliens?"

"Ok, ok, so there is the drawback where the aliens don't receive the message, or they do come but are smart enough to destroy everyone on the planet." Scourge admitted.

"What about the drawback where they don't even exist?" Amy hinted.

"They do so exist!" Scourge said indignantly.

"But--"

"Look, do you want my help or not?"

"Yes, I do--"

"Then shut up and let me do my work the way _I_ want to do it." He grabbed his plans and announced to everyone in the room, "Tomorrow, we begin Operation: Sally Must Die!"

_Yeah, it's weird. But don't worry, nothing gory happens in this fic. Remember, it's only rated for Scourge's mind._


	2. Plan A: The Last Supper

_Why did I decide to keep going with this fic? Oh yeah, 'cause I'm crazy! XD_

Chapter 2: Plan A: The Last Supper

Scourge began the plan by picking up the phone and dialing Sally's number. "Hey there, Sal!" Scourge began, disguising his voice as Sonic's. "How you doing? ...Good! Good! Say, I was just thinking, you know, with _Scourge_ out of the way and all that you would like to come over to my place? ...Great! See you at 7:00!" After he hung up, he checked his Batman watch and saw the minute hand was pointing at the Joker and the hour hand was pointing at the Riddler. "6:35. Time to get Sonic out of his house!"

_Sonic's house-- 6:45 pm._

Scourge was jumping and hiding from bush to bush ninja-style, with his gang walking calmly behind him. Eventually, they made it to Sonic's house and hid behind the hedge (yes, Sonic has a hedge...'cause he's a HEDGEhog! Get it?! ...Shut up). Scourge gave Amy the signal.

Amy got out of her hiding spot and rang the doorbell.

Sonic answered it. "Huh? Amy? What are you doing here?"

"Come to AMYYYYYY!!" Amy shrieked in excitement with her arms wide open and her eyes huge. She immediately started chasing Sonic around the front yard.

Sonic decided to run at supersonic speed and he dashed away down the street.

"Come back here, Sonikku!" Amy called as she continued to pursue him.

Scourge gave the signal to the rest of his gang and they got their stuff set up.

_Approaching Sonic's house-- 7:00 pm._

"It's so nice of you to invite me over, Sonic." said Sally, thinking Scourge was Sonic now that he had been painted blue.

"Aw shucks, don't mention it, Sal." Scourge responded, trying to sound like the blue hedgehog.

Sally then remarked, "You know, your voice sounds a little different. And since when did you get a Batman watch?"

"My voice doesn't sound different!" Scourge said quickly. "I've always had a Batman watch! And I'm certainly not Scourge in disguise!"

"Oh, ok." said Sally calmly.

Scourge opened the door for Sally, who went in. Scourge led her to the dining room, revealing a delicious-looking meal spead all over the table. "Well now, shall we eat?"

But then Sally frowned. "Oh, I'm sorry, Sonic. I didn't know you were inviting me to dinner."

"So?"

Sally explained, "I already had dinner before I came. I'm too full to eat anything now."

"WHAT?!" Scourge said in his own voice by accident. He quickly coughed to make it sound more believable.

"Sorry, please don't feel offended." Sally told him gently. "Now, if you don't mind, I'll just be returning to my castle. Duty calls, you know?"

Scourge sighed. "Yeah, yeah, just go." Once Sally had left, he slapped his forehead, not realizing he had the remote in his hand, which caused him to push the red button and exploded the food. "Whoops."

Cerberus then came crashing through the door, barking ferociously, with Boomer behind him trying to hold him back.

"No, no, NO!" Scourge scolded Boomer. "Not _now_!"

"But you said that after the explosion, I have to release the--"

"Yeah, that is, after it _works_!"

"Aw..." Boomer groaned. He tried to pull Cerberus, who was still barking madly, out of the room with great difficulty.

Once he did, Amy ran into the room and asked Scourge excitedly, "Did she die?"

"Erm...no." Scourge wiped the blue paint off his face. "Ok. Let's try Plan B."

_See? I told you there'd be nothing gory._


	3. Plan B: A Shot In The Dark

_Time for the next chapter already? Okeydokey._

Chapter 3: Plan B: A Shot In The Dark

Scourge paused to glance around the corner of the wall and saw Sally walking down the street in his direction. "Hehehe, perfect timing!" He turned around to Miles. "You ready?"

"Uh-huh!" Miles said cheerfully.

"Alright kid, you're on!" Scourge pushed Miles onto the street.

Miles went up to Sally as casually as he could. "Oh hi, Sally! My, I didn't see you walking here today!"

"What are you doing?" Scourge hissed.

Miles quickly spoke, "Uh, I mean, I didn't _expect_ to see you here today!"

Sally looked a little confused for a second, then relaxed and asked, "What's up, Tails?"

Miles scratched his head and whispered to himself, "Um, what's my line, again?"

Scourge bonked his head on the wall repeatedly.

"Oh, yeah! I was going to invite you to this formal dance me and the gang--uh, that is, Sonic's gang, are going to. It takes place in the abandonned warehouse on the edge of town. Don't worry, we've renovated it!"

Sally smiled. "Great! I'd love to go! After all, I do owe Sonic. So, what time?"

"Um..." Miles glanced at Scourge.

Scourge realized he had forgotten to tell Miles what time, so he set his watch to the time he wanted and held it up so Miles could see.

Miles saw the time and quickly turned back to Sally. "Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy."

Sally raised an eyebrow and looked completely baffled. "What?"

Scourge wanted to scream in fury at Miles' stupidity, but instead he choked himself to prevent sound from coming out.

Miles realized his mistake and corrected, "I mean, 9:00 pm!"

"Ah. I see. Well, see you there!" Sally waved goodbye and went on her way.

Miles sighed in relief and went back to Scourge, who looked tired and worn-out. "You ok?"

Scourge turned his head towards Miles slowly. The scary thing was, he was smiling like a psycopath and his right eye was twitching. "Never better." he replied in a low rasp. And then he strangled Miles.

_Abandonned warehouse-- 9:00 pm._

All of Scourge and his gang were in their hiding spots in the warehouse, when Fiona retured form sentry duty and announced, "She's coming! Get ready!"

Scourge turned his attention to Patch. "Get ready to shut off the lights!"

Patch nodded and had his hand ready at the switch, and the others ducked down lower into the shadows. Scourge aimed his pistol.

A few seconds later, Sally walked in the warehouse and noticed that no one was there. "Hm. Am I early or something? And I thought Tails said this place would be renovated. It's filthy!" She walked into the middle of the room, right in Scourge's line of fire.

At once, Scourge signaled Patch, who flipped the switch. The lights turned off loudly, leaving the room pitch-black. Scourge fired his gun.

"YEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!"

"AHAHA! Got ya, Sally!" Scourge shouted triumphantly. "Someone turn on the lights!" he ordered. Once the lights were turned back on, everyone saw that instead of Sally sprawled on the floor, it was Boomer. "What?! Boomer!" Scourge exclaimed angrily. "Where's Sally?"

Fiona pointed to a large hole in the wall. "Look! She's escaped!"

Scourge scowled and crossed his arms. "Drat!"

Then Cerberus came crashing in, barking wildly.

"No! Not yet!" Scourge scolded Miles, who was holding Cerberus' chain.

Miles frowned and tried to pull Cerberus back out.

Amy growled. "That obviously didn't go as planned."

Scourge promised, "Don't worry, our next plan is fool-proof! On to Plan C!"

Boomer then moaned. "How about helping me, first?"

"Oh, yeah! Forgot about him." the others said and they went to help Boomer.

_Thought that was random? Read on! It gets better! By the way, I recently saw The Dark Knight, so that's why I'm a little Bat-Man crazy._


	4. Plan C: Killer Klowns From Outer Space

_Don't watch the movie "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" if you value your sanity._

Chapter 4: Plan C: Killer Klowns From Outer Space

Scourge and his gang had just completed constructing a communication device that could only be heard by astrological aliens. Or, so they said.

"Haha! It's finished!" Scourge announced to Amy.

"Uh, I'm not sure it'll wor--"

Scourge ignored her and interrupted, turning to Boomer, "Turn it on!"

Boomer, with a white bandage wrapped around his arm, started pushing buttons on the machine...but nothing was happening. "Uh, boss?"

"What?" Scourge asked impatiently.

"It's not working." Boomer replied tentatively.

Scourge pushed a few buttons on the machine himself, but it still wouldn't work. He sighed heavily. "Hang on, I'll get the enclosed instruction book." He walked away, then came back shortly with the manual in his hand. He read a page of it, then said, "Ohhhhhhhh, I get it, now! Boomer, can you pull that lever?"

Boomer looked at the control panel. "Which one?"

"THE ONLY LEVER THAT'S THERE!"

Boomer finally saw it. "Ohhhhhhhh!" He pulled it and the machine responded.

Scourge rubbed his evil hands together. "Excellent." He approached the microphone and began his transmission. "This is Scourge the Hedgehog, reporting from planet Mobius. If you stupid aliens wanna take over our planet, then the only way to do so is to kill Princess Sally Acorn, from the Kingdom of Acorn. Obviously. So hurry up! I've got an evil scheme to plan!" And with that, he pushed a final button.

"Message sent." said the automated voice on the computer.

"Great!" Scourge leaned back in his e-z chair with his hands behind his head. "Now all we have to do is, wait."

Later...

(Scourge) "..."

(Amy) "..."

(Boomer) "..."

(Patch) "..."

(Fiona) "..."

"...Well this sucks." Miles pointing out impatiently.

Amy turned to Scourge with her arms crossed and said, "Admit it, you don't know what you're doing."

"I do so!" Scourge countered. He was silent for a few more seconds, then he sighed. "Ok, so my plans might not have worked so well--"

"You can say that again." muttered Boomer.

Scourge shot him a glare before continuing, "But I think I can come up with some new plans that are sure to work! Now who's with me?"

"I am, Scourge!" Fiona answered admiringly.

The others agreed, though not as enthusiastic as Fiona.

Amy shrugged. "Ok, fine. What are your new plans?"

Scourge grinned evilly, revealing his pointy teeth. "I'll tell you."

Later still...

Everyone groaned after another plan had failed. In fact, so many plans had failed that Scourge's gang were starting to lose hope in ever killing Sally. And Amy was especially furious.

Scourge panted, "Don't worry, guys. I'm sure it'll work next time."

"Zat's what you said with Plan L!" complained Patch, who was apparently still sore in the behind from that plan.

"And Plan Q, and Plan R, and Plan H, but who's counting?" Amy pointed out sourly.

Scourge looked up determinedly. "Then it's time for Plan X." He turned around and ran in the direction of their hideout.

"Oh no!" Miles cried. "Plan X! Not Plan X!"

Everyone quickly followed Scourge.

"What's Plan X?" Miles asked, running after them.

_And I'm sorry to disappoint you folks, but aliens don't exist. Get over it._


	5. Plan X: The Phantom Of The Opera

_FanFics are addicting._

Chapter 5: Plan X: The Phantom Of The Opera

"It's nice of you to invite me to an opera, Amy." Sally commented.

"Well, that's what _friends_ are for!" Amy replied, pretending to be nice. It was extremely difficult for her to get the word "friends" out, though.

"What's the name of the opera, anyway?" Sally asked.

Amy thought, then answered, "_The Dark Knight_."

They then made it to the opera house, which was covered with moss and the windows showed light inside.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Sally inquired.

"Of course it is!" Amy responded, leading Sally inside.

The girls took their seats and waited for the opera to begin. At least, that's what Sally was doing.

"Where are the people? There's no one else here." Sally noticed.

"I booked us a _private_ show!" Amy answered.

"But there isn't even an orchestra playing an overture! Maybe we are early." Sally suggested.

"No, no! It specifically said on the plans to be here at 8:00!"

"What plans?" Sally asked.

"Uhhh..." Amy stammered, realizing she almost blew her cover. "Er, hey! I'll see if they have popcorn!" She went over behind the stage and met up with Scourge's allies.

"Good. You've put Sally in the perfect spot!" Boomer said.

"Where's Scourge?" Amy asked.

Scourge then came in, wearing his costume. "How do I look?"

Amy stared, then replied, "I don't think the Phantom of the Opera had a Mohawk."

"Sure he did! That's what made him so scary!" Scourge answered.

"I'm turning off the lights now." Miles told the others. "Scourge, hook yourself up to the pulley and get in your position!"

"Right!" Scourge responded as he headed for the top balcony. Then, Miles pulled the switch.

"Wh-What happened?" Sally asked when she found herself in darkness.

"Ok boys! Hold the rope tight and let me down nicely!" Scourge instructed Patch and Boomer. "Now, for some scary music!"

As Scourge was slowly moving downward, he did his 'scary music'. "OooooooOOOOOHH! OoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOH!! OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!"

"Lousy scary music." muttered Boomer as he continued to let Scourge down.

Sally looked up and asked, "Is this part of the opera?"

"Oh, no it isn't! OoooooooooOOOOOOOOOH!" Scourge replied in his lousy-scary voice. "This is REAL! OoooooooOOOOOH!"

"What are you going to do? _Bore_ me to death?" Sally asked, rolling her eyes. "This makes Boomer look smart."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Boomer whined insultedly, letting go of the rope to put his hands on his hips.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH-- OOF!" Scourge laid on his face for a second before getting up. "Ugh...darn, stupid walrus..." He muttered some curses under his breath before realizing his plan. He cleared his throat and continued, "Something much worse is going to happen to yoooooouu!! OOOOOOOOH! I, the Phantom of the Opera, shall KILL you! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!"

"Er, yeah. I'm just going to go now..." Sally stated, heading for the exit.

"Admiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! You are scared! You are reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaalllly scaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrreeeeed!" Scourge still haunted.

"Just keel 'er alredy!" Patch groaned.

"If you don't admit you're scared, you shall be crushed by the very chandilier that crushed meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" Scourge warned, giving the signal.

Patch cut the rope and the chandilier came down...on top of Scourge.

"I'll be leaving now." Sally then said and headed outside.

Scourge got out of the fallen chandilier and coughed, "Plan X, failure."

Just then, Cerberus came in out of nowhere and started barking fiercely.

"NO!" everyone shouted angrily to the two-(sometimes three-)headed dog.

Cerberus whined sadly and walked away with its heads down.

_Moral of this chapter: Beware of falling chandiliers. And apparently, Amy's catching BatMANIA._


	6. Plan Z: The Birds

_Is this the chapter where they finally get Sally? Maybe, maybe not..._

Chapter 6: Plan Z: The Birds

Scourge and the others were thinking up of a new plan. "Hmm, what we really need is a plan that pulls out all the stops." Scourge thought. Then, after several minutes, he announced, "I got it! Plan Z!"

"It better be better than Plan Y." Miles groaned, who was covered in casts and bandages.

"It's called The Birds." Scourge told the others.

"Do we get to attack Sally with meat-eating birds?" Boomer asked excitedly.

"What? No! The title's a misnomer!" Scourge answered. Everyone looked blank. "You know? A name that has nothing to do with the thing named?" Scourge explained. The others were still blank. "The plan has nothing to do with birds!" Scourge shouted.

"Then why is it called The Birds?" Amy asked.

"Because it was the only title I could think of that copies off another!" Scourge replied angrily. He calmed down and began, "First, we apply for jobs at the castle as night guards! But we don't want them to know that we are Scourge and his gang. So we put on--"

"Bird costumes?" Fiona asked.

"No." Scourge replied. "We put on _other_ animal costumes and apply for the job. We'll say whatever's positive and get the jobs. Then at night--"

"We attack 'er wit berds?" Patch asked.

"No! We pretend to hear a noise and say that we will check Sally's room. But in order to know where Sally's room is in the first place, we--"

"Have birds scout the area?" Miles asked.

"NO!" Scourge yelled. "No birds! Understand?" Everyone nodded. "Good. Now to know where Sally's room is, we have to ask the other guards, but in a way that makes it reasonable. So once we get inside, we just use all of our weapons to kill Sally while she's asleep! Then we escape, with--"

"Birds eating the evidence?" Boomer asked.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Scourge shouted. "We call for Cerberus to eat the evidence! Like we've been trying to do for all of our PREVIOUS plans!!"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" the others finally realized.

_Sally's Room- midnight_

Scourge opened the door to Sally's room quietly and cautiously peeked inside. "Excellent." he whispered to himself evilly. Then he glanced at Boomer and noticed he was wearing one of those funny bird masks. You know, the ones with the long pointy beaks. He scowled at Boomer, "Take that off!" and smacked it right off the walrus' face.

"Ow!" Boomer said, a little too loudly, with a hand over his face.

"SHH!" everyone else hissed.

Boomer covered his mouth in realization. "Oops."

Scourge quickly looked at the bed and saw that nothing was stirring. "Phew." He and the others tip-toed inside. "GO!" Scourge ordered. All of them used their weapons to the maximum and fired all over the bed.

"Did we do it?" Amy asked excitedly when they ran out of ammo.

They flipped the light switch and found...a broken test dummy.

"WHAT?!" everyone shouted.

"FREEZE!" a guard commanded, who came into the room.

"H-how did--" Scourge stammered.

"You were trying to kill the princess, weren't you?" the guard challenged. "Fortunately for her, Sally was going out on a late-night date with Sonic!"

Everyone was silent, then got kicked out.

"Now what?" Miles groaned, sitting up. "We've run out of letters for plans."

"So we'll start using letters AND numbers!" Scourge replied, getting himself up from the ground.

"You know, I'm starting to get the feeling Sally KNOWS we're trying to kill her." Amy noted, standing up and brushing the dirt off of her.

Scourge promised, "I know the next one will work!"

Everyone groaned and lied down again.

_I got lazy and skipped the boring part. So that's why it's a little short. OMG, I didn't use Cerberus in this chapter! :O_


	7. Amy Explodes

_This fic is almost done. Just a few more chapters of weirdness to go!_

Chapter 7: Amy Explodes

"Ok," Scourge began slowly, breathing heavily. "I think I've finally got it."

Everyone groaned loudly and complained, "No! No more!"

"But I might get it this time!" Scourge insisted, though he seemed a little doubtful.

Finally, Amy seemed to have had enough. She jumped out of her chair, marched right over to Scourge and said loudly, "That's IT! The only reason we haven't been able to kill Sally is because your stupid plans are far too unnecessarily difficult and complex!"

Scourge looked up at her in mild shock. "Now listen to me, Amy--"

"NO! Now, YOU'RE gonna listen to ME!" Amy shouted authoritatively in his face. "Because it's never gonna work if we keep doing it _your_ way! So from now on, _I'm_ in charge! Got a problem with that?"

Now Scourge looked afraid. He nodded slowly. "S-sure, Amy. W-whatever you say. But, if you'll just listen to my plan--"

"_NO_! Your plans suck! Here's what you're gonna do: You're gonna take your gun, go find Sally on the street, and just shoot her then and there, no questions asked. Got it, punk?"

"O-ok, Amy..." Scourge gulped. "And then we get Cerberus to--?"

"No, no, no, no, NO!" Amy shouted again in frustration. "Forget Cerberus! He belongs in the NiGHTS series! _You're_ gonna do the dirty work in getting rid of her body! I don't really care how you do it, 'cause I'm not gonna get involved. If you get in trouble with the police, that's your problem. Compredez?"

"Uh...yes?" Scourge answered uncertainly.

Amy seemed satisfied, though she still had a sharp look on her face. "Good." she said, her voice raspy from all the yelling. "Then let's go."

_Ooh! Getting closer to the climax! Will Amy sucessfully prevail in killing Sally? Stay tuned..._


	8. Plan Z1: Just Shoot Her Already!

_This is the second last chapter. OMG the climax is here! :O_

Chapter 8: Plan Z1: Just Shoot Her Already!

Sally was walking down the street. Scourge jumped in her way, pulled put a machine gun and fired lots of bullets. Sally collapsed onto the sidewalk, then Scourge shot her some more. Then some more. Then even more. Then a lot more, all the while laughing maniacally.

"Are you done yet?" Amy asked.

"Wait, just a few more!" Scourge told her. Then he fired more bullets.

"Aren't you overkilling her?" Amy questioned.

"Is there such a word as overexaggerate?" Scourge talked back. "Just until I run out of bullets." Then he continued firing until every single bullet shot Sally.

"Is she dead?" Amy asked excitedly.

"Wait, one more!" He shot the last bullet. "See for yourself!" Scourge laughed. Sally was sprawled on the ground, and blood was spilling. That's as descriptive as I will get.

"YES! YES!" Amy cheeered. She and Scourge started dancing childishly around the dead body.

"Why are you two dancing?" Sally asked. Wait, Sally? Scourge and Amy turned around to see Sally, unharmed. Yet the body was still at their feet.

"It's a... it's a... it's a... it's a..." Scourge gasped.

"QUICK! SHOOT HER!" Amy commanded quickly.

Scourge aimed and pulled the trigger, but no bullets came out. "What?!" He tried again, but to no avail. "...Whoops. I, uh, heh, used all the bullets on that...thing." he said sheepishly.

"Wait, so you shot this robot Sally that was supposed to bring the red paint to Tails?" Sally asked.

"Robot?!" Amy and Scourge exclaimed.

"Yeah, Tails built it to deliver things around safely, and I asked him to build it in my image." Sally explained. "But I guess his idea didn't really work."

Amy got very furious. "YOU'RE FIRED!!" she shouted at Scourge. Amy pulled out her hammer and knocked Scourge very far away.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Scourge cried as he sailed into the next game universe.

Amy then turned towards Sally and hissed, "And you..."

Sally closed her eyes and braced herself for anything that was going to happen. But, nothing happened. She looked again to see Amy at her feet.

Amy sobbed, "You're invincible! I should've known from the beginning that you and Sonic were meant to be together! How could I have been so reckless? Why? WHY?!"

"Whoa! Calm down!" Sally told Amy. "You were trying to kill me just so you could get Sonic? That's very villainous."

"I know!" Amy continued to cry. "It's just that-- LOOK OUT!"

Sally turned around, but didn't see anything. At that instant Amy swung her hammer, knocking Sally unconscious. She stood there quiet for a few moments, then exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, I'm as crazy as Scourge!"

"Ohhhhh..." Sally groaned.

Amy whacked her again with renewed anger. "Hya!"

_And that is as violent as it will get. I hate Sally, but I'm not going to kill her. That'd be preposterous! Well, for very few people, anyway. Sorry to disappoint you Sally-haters. Stick around for the epilogue, though._


	9. title too long to fit here

_Yeah, here's the crappy epilogue. Enjoy._

Epilogue: Amy Gets A Good Mind and Whatever Happened To Scourge?

Amy was sitting at her table the next morning, eating her strawberry Toaster Strudel. Once again, she was thinking out loud. "I still love Sonic, but he still loves Sally. How am I supposed to get him to love me if I can't kill Sally?"

She shoved the rest of her strudel into her mouth and the light above her head turned on. "I know! I'll jus find a luv potion an use it on Shonic!" She swallowed and she grinned evilly. "And then when he sees me, he'll be in love with ME! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

...Well, it may not be a great mind, but it's good compared to her previous mind. ...Let's just move along, shall we? Scourge's gang was wondering what happened to him, seeing as he hadn't returned from his latest plan to kill Sally yet. Little did they know, however, that Scourge had landed in the NiGHTS universe.

"Ugh...where am I?" Scourge mumbled, looking around. He appeared to be in some sort of giant cage. All of a sudden, he heard growling behind him and he froze. "Something bad behind me isn't there." he tried to assure himself.

He turned around slowly and saw two jaws with fangs bared right in front of him. His eyes widened in fear and he slowly took a few steps back. "N-nice, Cerberus...Good d-doggy..."

Then the third head appeared and barked ferociously, and then all the heads were barking and Cerberus lunged at Scourge.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Scourge cried. He tried to run away, but there was no way out of the cage. "Gang, wherever you are, HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!"

The End

_Not the best of endings, I'll admit, but it's an ending at least. By the way, can you guess what made Amy get a dark mind in the first place compared to what made her get a "good" mind? The clue is in what she ate..._

_Well, bye for now!_


	10. The Happy Ending

_Just in case you weren't satisfied with the ending, I'm making an alternate one._

Alternate Epilogue: The Happy Ending

Amy was watching TV one morning, when her favourite show, "Arthur", was interupted by a special breaking-news report.

"I'm standing in front of a white limo which apparently belongs to Princess Sally." began one reporter. "The limo, as you can see, has been turned over. With me now, is Detective and Chief Police Vector."

"Hi, Mom!" Vector waved at the camera happily.

"Vector, can you tell us what happened?"

"Sure! Sally was being driven over to the 90-off sale at Macy's, when she realized her driver took the wrong road. She told her driver to 'turn on a dime', obviously wanting to get to the right road fast before the sale ended. But her driver thought she literally meant 'turn on a dime'. So her driver saw a dime on the road and, well, tried to turn on it. Unfortunately, the turn was too sharp and lo and behold, the limo got turned over and crashed into the fire-hydrant. The car caught on fire and the firemen couldn't do anything about it 'cause the limo was in the way of the fire-hydrant. They was like, 'Move your car or it will be towed! That is an illegal parking space reserved only for firetrucks!' or something like that."

"I see. So, do you have any final word on the princess and her driver?"

"Huh? Oh, dead. Definately dead." Vector replied lightly. "Hey, can someone get me a coffee and donut from Timmy's?"

The reporter concluded, "This has been a special report. We will now return to our schedualed program...or something."

Then the TV went back to showing "Arthur".

But Amy was too shocked to continue watching. "Sally...is...dead?" Then she couldn't contain her joy. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! SALLY'S DEAD! SALLY'S DEAD!" She ran out of her house, singing jubilantly, "Ding, dong, the witch is dead!--" when she bumped into Sonic. "--oh, hi, Sonic! Did you hear the latest news?"

Sonic grinned. "Yeah! There's a 90-off sale at Macy's! Can you believe it?"

"Uh...that's great, Sonic, but I was talking about Sally getting killed in an accident."

"Oh, yeah! I saw that on TV while I was watching "Arthur". Cool, wasn't it?"

Amy had to admit, she was a little surprised that Sonic was taking this so good-naturedly. "You're not even a little sad that Sally died?"

"Heck no! She was a B-otch. And she never wore any clothes. How is that setting a good example to young girls?"

"Oh." Amy saw Sonic's point, and was glad he was on the same level as Amy now. "Hey, Sonic, wanna go to Macy's?"

"Sure! Let's go!" Sonic grabbed Amy's hand and raced to the mall with her. And they lived happily ever after.

But Scourge still got attacked by Cerberus.

The _Real_ End

_There. Happy now?_


End file.
